Little White Lies
by Fish Bag
Summary: Sometimes, the things you really think are different from the things you tell yourself. Sometimes, you need to tell yourself a little white lie just to make it through the day… A very messed-up Lorelai is still trying to convince everybody, including herself, that she is happy and that marrying Christopher was a great idea. Is anybody buying it? Is she?
1. One- I'm So Happy

LITTLE WHITE LIES

Sometimes, the things you **really think **are different from the things you _tell_ _yourself_.

Sometimes, you need to tell yourself some little white lies just to get make it through the day...

* * *

One- _I'm So Happy_

'_I'm so happy,'_ Lorelai told herself as she walked hand-in-hand through the streets of Stars Hollow with her husband. '_So happy.'_ She smiled up at Christopher, snuggling against his arm. Even though she had heard -or rather, overheard- that Luke had mysteriously begun leaving town during the diner's afternoon lull, not returning until late in the evening, she still navigated them away from places she thought he might be, just in case. No diner, obviously, no Doose's, no post office. Yes to the dry cleaners, Le Chat Club and the beauty supply store.

It had not snowed yet, but the air was crisp. Lorelai insisted on wearing her new pink toque, along with the angora-lined leather gloves she had brought back from Paris. Lately she felt more chilled than usual, and being slightly over-bundled made her feel better.

"Ooh, here it is!" She stopped at the formerly vacant storefront. "Chocolate Charm!" she beamed at Chris. "Hey, hon, how about buying your lovely wife some fancy candy?"

As the couple walked into Stars Hollow's latest specialty shop -or rather, 'Shoppe'- new citizen Christopher seemed surprised and confused to see Kirk wave to them from behind the counter. Lorelai was completely unfazed; that is, until she heard the voice of the customer Kirk was serving. Then she stopped dead in her tracks.

"Why don't you just give me the damn raspberry truffles, Kirk?"

**Shit.**

"But Luke, you've bought the same chocolates three times this week. Women like variety."

"Yeah, well, Kirk, the woman I'm buying these for likes raspberry truffles."

"Well, my girlfriend, Lulu-"

"I know who your girlfriend is, Kirk. Raspberry truffles, now!"

"Lulu really likes these rum balls. I think they have an aphrodisiac quality to them, if you know what I mean."

"Now, Kirk!" Luke boomed.

"Okay, okay, here," Kirk practically cowered as he filled a small box with raspberry truffles. "Have a Chocolatey Charming day." As Luke snatched the box roughly and thrust some bills at him, Kirk seemingly sought the only revenge he could think of. "Welcome Lorelai, Christopher," he smiled smugly, "What can I get you?"

Luke spun around sharply, and indeed found himself face to face with the happy couple themselves. All three men looked around nervously, each trying to avoid eye contact. Kirk glanced at his fancy new cell phone, likely weighing the benefits vs. risks of an exclusive posting of the awkward moment on the new 'Stars Hollow Happenings' You Tube channel; Christopher examined the display of imported 85% Belgian chocolate-covered cherries, and Luke stared at his box of truffles.

Lorelai's gaze, however, remained fixed on Luke.

He looked tired to her. It was his eyes. They had bags and dark circles under them; the whites were tinged pink and the normally denim blue irises were more of a steely gray. All of which thankfully distracted her from his ridiculous lashes. Luke had long, dark lashes that perfectly accentuated his striking irises. Christopher had bland hazel eyes and practically non-existent lashes. **So what? Christopher married you. Wanted to marry you. Loves you. And you love him. You do. You love Christopher. Your husband**_**.**_

'_I'm in love with Christopher_,_' _Lorelai silently affirmed as she tried to take her eyes off Luke.

Luke definitely looked tired. **Tired, but good**. Tired, but well-dressed. He wore black pants, a deep burgundy dress shirt and a black leather jacket. The exact same ensemble as Christopher, actually, save for the fact that Christopher's shirt was peach colored instead of dark red. Well, that and the fact that Chris was accessorizing with a cashmere scarf and a silver-trimmed belt worth more than Luke's truck. Still, no wonder Lorelai didn't recognize Luke from the back when she walked in the store. He could have been any guy in a chocolate shop buying truffles for- **Wait, what? Who has Luke been buying truffles for?! Did Kirk say three times this week? **

'_I don't care who he's buying truffles for,_' Lorelai said to herself. "I don't care," she slipped, as Luke blew past them with a curt nod.

"You don't care about what?" Christopher asked in a suspicious tone, correctly guessing that she had not meant to say that thought out loud.

"Oh, which chocolates you buy me, as long as they're, you know, chocolate flavored," Lorelai placated. That turned out, of course, not to be the case, as she spent a good ten minutes mulling over the various options before finally leaving the store with a pretty pink box full of rich, overpriced treats.

The pair continued their stroll around the square. Lorelai could see the old green truck pulling away, and she knew Chris could too. She also knew that he was watching to see if her demeanor would change now. She delighted in her chocolates, even removing the glove from her right hand to thoroughly enjoy them. Never had anyone been so engrossed in a simple box of chocolates. They strolled right by Patty and Babette, who were sitting on a bench with their backs to the meandering pathway, also watching the green truck head out of town, and clearly immersed in conversation about said truck's occupant.

"…well, dear, he leaves right after lunch each day looking quite dapper and returns very, very late each night looking worn and disheveled. You do the math."

"Doesn't sound like it's math he's doing!" Babette guffawed proudly as she quite literally turned her lame joke into a knee-slapper.

"Oh, I bet he's crunching a few numbers," Patty drawled as she drew deeply on her cigarette holder.

"Ha! Well, good for him. It's about time, don'tcha think?"

"He certainly doesn't need to head out of town. I know of plenty of women in Stars Hollow who would be happy to calculate 23 times three with him any day of…"

Lorelai knew Chris was listening, and watching her listen. As they passed the town yentas, she once again took her gloved left hand into his right, tightening just enough so that the coolness of the wedding band housed inside sent a physical jolt reminding her that she didn't care anymore. What Luke did. Where Luke went. **Looking really nice**_**.**_** Oh, s****top**. Lorelai gripped Christopher's hand tighter while they walked together through the square. But her thoughts kept drifting back to Luke. **Dating Luke**. He was in his dating gear. She picked out that jacket. She recognized the pants, and of course, the Rachel belt. But the shirt was new. She tried to picture Luke shopping for dress clothes without her. **Where did he go to buy it? To the mall? **She scoffed. **Well, maybe April dragged him. But April wasn't a mall kind of girl. Or was she? You wouldn't know, would you? **

"Interesting choice. Out of character." Christopher's voice brought her back to reality. Or from it. Either way, Lorelai was jolted.

"Hmm?" she glanced up at him, pretending her distraction was coming from deep concentration on her chocolate treats. "What, babe?"

"Fruit-filled? You chose fruit-filled chocolate? What's that about? That's practically health food."

"Well, you know, peach to match my husband's peach shirt," Lorelai quickly got back on track.

"I told you before, don't mock the shirt," Christopher mused, recalling their earlier conversation.

"And I told you, I'm not mocking the shirt, I'm mocking the wearer of the shirt."

"Lor," Chris made a feeble attempt to stop the Lorelai steam engine. "We've been through this already."

"The chooser of the 'I look good in peach' shirt, the buyer of the 'peach is so my color' shirt," she chugged on.

Christopher sighed. "I recognize that tree."

"Oh, you mean that peach tree?"

Christopher rolled his eyes in mock exasperation. "Just eat your chocolates," -**Crazy Lady- **"Lor."

Luke's shirt was a beautiful, rich, manly color. It looked very nice on him. **Truffle girl is lucky. Gah, stop it! **Lorelai's mind drifted to thoughts of what a chameleon Luke was. He could look right at home in a suit, a tight dress shirt, sweats or loose flannel. Luke could be any number of different men at any given time. Lorelai looked over at Christopher in his pretty peach shirt and cashmere scarf and tried for a minute to picture him in plaid flannel and a backwards baseball hat. She giggled aloud at the visual.

"What's so funny, Lor?"

"Just happy," Lorelai smiled at her husband. She squeezed his hand tighter and felt the ring dig into her finger. "I love you, Chris," she gushed.

'_I am in love with Christopher_,' she reaffirmed silently for good measure. '_This is just how things were meant to be. I'm so happy.'_

_TBC..._

* * *

Disclaimer: My authentic Luke's mug from the WB store broke today. Now I really don't own anything officially Gilmore girls.


	2. Two- I'm Glad Luke Has Moved On

A/N- Sorry for the delay. It's my first chapter story and I had some issues with the narrative "flow"- but it's all good now and the next chapter should be up much, much faster (if there's any interest, that is). Okay, so remember, Lorelai is lying to herself. Battling between what she says aloud ("regular quotes"), what she thinks inside her head (**bold)** and what she tells herself ('_italics'_). Less confusing than it sounds, or so I've been told. Endless thank yous to both **Eledgy **and **Deepfriedcake**, AKA the POV Patrol, who have taught me so much about storytelling both through their beta-ing of this chapter and by example in their brilliant writings. And thanks to **CoffeeDrinker **for reminding me that it's okay sometimes to a) make Chris douchey just for the fun of it, b) be fillery if warranted, and c) not be obsessed over the word count.

* * *

Two-_'I'm glad Luke has moved on'_

The newlyweds continued their leisurely walk through town. The square was bustling with familiar faces that bright afternoon, but for some reason Lorelai chose to keep her head down, eyes focused on her chocolates. So it was Christopher, and not his wife, who first spotted Lane and Zack heading straight toward them on the same path.

"Whoa! Have you seen Lane lately?" Chris asked incredulously.

Lorelai still did not look up from her treats. "Uh, last week, when Rory was home," she answered absently, sticking the fingers of her ungloved right hand into the box to get the last remaining flecks. "Remember, Al's take out? The fabulous Flashdance/ Fame /Footloose film fest?" She spared Christopher a quick glance. "Oh, wait, that's right, you ducked out…"

"Well, my leg warmers were in the wash."

"…to have caviar and crumpets with your mother!" Lorelai remembered with a mocking laugh, pointing a chocolate speckled finger at him.

"Speaking of beluga and our daughter, have you seen or spoken to Rory or since then, because I think Lane might have swallowed her," Chris quipped, motioning ahead with his chin and playfully sucking the chocolate remnants off Lorelai's finger at the same time.

"I speak to my daughter every day," Lorelai snapped, reflexively pulling her hand away. Christopher stopped walking and Lorelai looked back to see a hurt look on his face. **Uh-oh. What did you do?** Suddenly more mindful, she changed her tone from snarky to playful. "You took my crumblies! That's the best part," she pouted as she tossed the empty pink box in a nearby trashcan. "I wanted to savor," she explained as she kissed him and reached for his hand once again. Christopher seemed placated, but she continued on, just to be safe. "Buy me more for later," she cooed, "and you can lick- Oh, wow!" Lorelai finally noticed Zack and Lane approaching and she saw that Chris was right- it seemed that Lane had indeed doubled in size in the past week. "Shh," she admonished lightheartedly, "I told you, babe, it's twins."

"Twin what, elephants?" Chris snickered. But as they got within earshot of the younger couple, he used his most charming voice to greet them. "Well, look at us. Two old married couples out for a stroll."

"Hey there," Lane returned. "Sad that walking home from work now constitutes a stroll." She sighed and turned to her husband. "My goodness, Zack, we ARE an old married couple."

"Yeah, and you just said 'my goodness', too," Lorelai commented. "Just a short jump from there to 4 pm dinners, Matlock reruns and ordering dia-beetus supplies from Wilfred Brimley, my formerly young friends."

"Hey Lorelai, Christopher." Zack said enthusiastically. "Beautiful day, right? I'm just walking Lane home so she can have a nap, and then I'm taking her next shift over at the diner."

**Uh-oh.** Lorelai was unsure if Christopher considered Luke's Diner to be an acceptable topic of small talk. Fortunately, Lane astutely focused on the 'nap' part of Zack's sentence anyway.

"They say I was supposed to get less tired around now, but I'm getting more and more exhausted all the time."

"Twin pregnancies are exhausting, I hear." Lorelai said, grateful for the segue. "Practice for the main event."

"Walking is good though." Zack offered.

"Walking is good," Lorelai agreed.

"I don't know if I'd call this walking, actually," Lane grumbled. "More like waddling. I'm starting to feel pretty ridiculous, and I still have months left to go!"

"Well," Chris smiled at her, "You just might have some waddling company soon. Never know," he finished with a wink toward Lorelai.

**WHAT?!**

"Oh my God, Lorelai," Lane cried, "are you-"

**NO!**

"No!" she answered emphatically, the panic in her voice somewhat drowned out by Christopher's singsong tone as he replied at the same time:

"Not yet."

Lorelai squeezed her eyes shut. **Kids would be good, remember?**

_'Kids would be good,'_ she silently confirmed, '_with Christopher_.'

When Lorelai opened her eyes again, she found Lane intently studying her and Chris, probably picking up on the weird vibe between them on the baby issue. Lane was sharp that way. Zack, on the other hand, obliviously began to regale them with tales of his upcoming vocational exploits.

"Yeah, so this is my first shift ever. Man, I am nervous. I really want to do a good job, you know? Eventually, if all goes well, I'll be working all Lane's shifts, once the little dudes are ready to pop, or possibly sooner. The doctor says there's a strong chance of third-trimester bedrest when dealing with multiples. You heard it's twins, right?"

"No kidding," Chris smirked.

"Two boys," Zack nodded. "Two sons. Me, a dad of two sons! Big time responsibility. So I figured, start practicing now. Regular shifts at the diner- cleaning, clearing, serving. The whole 'solid workaday dad' thing, you know?"

"Sounds very Ozzy and Harriet," Lorelai offered.

"Or Ozzy and Sharon, if that's more your thing." Christopher was obviously trying to sound hip to the younger couple, but Lorelai could tell by his tone that his patience for them was wearing thin.

"Either one's fine, actually," Zack said amiably. "Don't forget, Ozzy and Harriet spawned some pretty decent musical talent in Ricky."

"Who, by the way," Lane added, "also happened to be the dad of twin sons. With a band of their own!"

"Ooh, and don't forget Tracy, TV's original Valley Girl," Lorelai interjected. "Square Pegs! Square Pegs!" she chimed, mimicking the annoying theme song. No one else seemed to know what she was talking about, so they just continued the conversation around her.

"Well, Nelson isn't exactly our thing, musically speaking, but hey, they're out there rocking it their way. All that counts, I suppose," Zack opined.

"So maybe," Lane patted her stomach, "Van Gerbig here will end up being pop superstars, and Hep Alien will just work behind the scenes supporting them. I could live with that."

"That's right," Lorelai agreed solemnly. "Shift all your hopes and dreams to the next generation. Worked for us." She gave Christopher a teasing nudge.

"Well, I guess we shouldn't keep you," Chris blurted suddenly. He tightened his grip on Lorelai's hand, a signal to her that his interest in the younger couple was now fully depleted. "Lane needs rest, and it sounds like you have some very important work to get to, Zack."

"Exactly." Zack nodded politely, obviously missing the sarcasm. "Man, I am so nervous."

"I'm sure you can handle it." Christopher's condescending air made Lorelai wince, and she tried to cover for his haughtiness with more mock solemnity.

"Just remember, Zack, orange for decaf, brown for regular and never, EVER the twain shall meet."

Zack smiled at her gratefully. "Thank you, Lorelai, I'll remember that. Especially if you come in."

Lorelai flinched and she felt Christopher's hand tighten even further. "Oh, I won't. I mean...I, uh, I...don't. Come in. There," she stammered, looking wide-eyed at Lane for confirmation. **Very smooth, Lorelai.**

Lane, once again much quicker on the uptake than her better half, nodded in corroboration of Lorelai's statement. "I'm pretty sure our coffee sales are down 50 percent from last year," she tried to joke.

'_I never want to set foot in that place again,_' Lorelai thought to herself as she glanced toward Luke's diner on the other side of the square. '_Besides, Weston's coffee is just as good.'_

"Right, right," Zack nodded, finally seeming to catch on. "Well, sorry you're missing my big debut; I've been practicing for like a week. Trained by the best." He put his arm around Lane and she rested her head on his chest, glowing with pride.

Lorelai eyed the couple affectionately. It wasn't so long ago that SHE was the one doing the blue-collar jobs to support HER baby. At the thought of Rory combined with the sight of Lane, she felt a burst of nostalgia. She had a sudden urge to extend the encounter with the young couple, even though Christopher was now rhythmically squeezing her hand in a silent request to wrap things up. "Cramming for a week, huh? Okay, let's see what you got, dude," Lorelai called out. "Draw one, flop two. What am I ordering?"

"Cup of coffee, two eggs, over-easy," Zack answered quickly.

"Hockey puck and sticks, and make it hemorrhage," Lorelai shot at him.

"Burger, well done, and fries with lots of ketchup."

"Yay! Zack rocks!" Lane cried. "Although," she added, "there's not really a whole lot of diner speak bandied about at work."

"Yeah, Luke HATES the lingo," Zack confirmed. "Learned that the hard way."

"Heart attack on a rack, Zack," Christopher jumped in, suddenly sounding eager to play along.

"Wait, I know this." Zack banged his head with his hand. "Biscuits and gravy!"

"The man is unstoppable!" Christopher enthused with rekindled interest.

"Biscuits and gravy?" Lorelai gaped at her husband. The idea of Christopher Hayden hunkering down for some good ol' southern diner food made her laugh aloud once again.

"What?" Chris turned to her, "I've lived, baby."

"So that's what you and Francine do on those weekend brunches? Hit up the local New England truck stops?"

"Hey, I've been around, lady, and you know it. I happen to have patronized a roadside eatery or two in my day."

"Did you ask the waitress to hold the chicken, Jack Nicholson?" Lorelai grinned.

"Between her knees," Chris smiled back.

"Five Easy Pieces!" Lane called out.

"Good girl," Lorelai affirmed proudly.

"Steppenwolf, Born to Be Wild. Great tune," Zack added.

"No, babe, that's from Easy Rider," Lane corrected. "Common mistake. Both early Nicholson films."

"Impressive. I see Pauline Kael Gilmore here has trained you well over the years," Christopher said. "Zack, I think you and I had better start showing up for those famous film fests if we know what's good for us."

"It IS in the marriage handbook for Gilmores and surrogate Gilmores alike." Lorelai warned.

"Yeah, well choose something that isn't a hopeless chick flick or cheesy musical for once and we'll be there." Chris shot back.

"I'd be down with Easy Rider," Zack agreed. "That's the biker one, right?"

"Speaking of getting your motor running and heading out on the highway, you know I once spent three months straight just kicking around the country on my bike?" Christopher shared. "Awesome summer. Good times."

**Yeah, the summer YOU worked double shifts at the Independence to repay Mia for Rory's day camp! **_'Christopher's track record isn't important," _Lorelai scolded herself._ The past is the past," _she added adamantly. _'People change.' _She cleared her head with an imperceptible shake, and refocused her attention on the frivolous film and diner talk in front of her. "Okay, hit the guy up with another round, Jimmy Dean," she smiled.

"Rebel Without a Cause? Giant?" Chris tried to place the reference.

"Sausage guy," Lorelai corrected with a giggle.

Lorelai could not remember the last time she laughed so much. '_It's so much fun being married to Chris,'_ she thought to herself. She did not allow herself pause to notice that she had been laughing at, not with, her husband.

Lorelai and Christopher continued quizzing Zack on the diner lingo and the more generic points of customer service. Lane's queries, however, tended to focus on her husband's upcoming shift at one specific -albeit temporarily nameless- eatery. She started peppering him with questions:

"Okay, Zack, where do we keep the coffee filters?"

"And the sweetener packets?"

"How do you get the register open if it jams?"

"What if Taylor tells you to put it on his tab?"

"How do you reset the oven if it blows out?"

**Press the white button on the back, lower left corner!**

"What if the toaster AND the backup toaster are both broken?"

"Then I call Cesar," Zack smiled in response to Lane's last question.

"Number?"

Zack pulled a folded paper out of his back pocket, and began reading off the meticulously prepared sheet.

"Cesar, home 860-451-7236. Cesar, Cell 860-517-4236. But only until 2:30 today. Then he's got a periodontist appointment. Today, it's John in a pinch. Cell—"

"Ah, the old cheat sheet," Christopher cut him off. "Got through many a test that way. Good man."

Lorelai looked from Chris to Lane and Zack with a pleased grin. She was happy that Chris now seemed to be making an effort with the young couple. She hoped it lasted. This was life in the Hollow and it was nice to see him trying to fit into it. Moreover, she was actually having a good time; the diner talk and Zack's mockable crib notes were entertaining and fun. She almost forgot for a minute that they were talking about 'Luke's', until the subject came around to the titular man himself.

"…and if I can't reach Cesar and I can't reach John, then and only then is it okay to call Luke." Lorelai saw Lane try to cut Zack off with a sharp look, but he must have misinterpreted the meaning behind her piercing eyes. "Relax, Lane, I know, okay? No calls about Taylor or Kirk, and the place pretty much has to degenerate to Altamont before I disturb Luke tonight. I got it. And, his cell phone is fritzed out again, but, he can be reached at, at tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat..." He clucked his tongue, flipping his paper over and searching for the contact info.

Christopher's eye roll and reinstated hand squeezes told Lorelai that his temporary passion for Zack had now faded.

"...Got it! Here we go. Luke…860-531-7426..."

Lorelai shrugged and smiled apologetically at Christopher, wordlessly asking him to hang in just a bit longer while Zack finished reading off his silly sheet.

"…Sniffy's Tavern."

"SNIFFY'S?!" Lorelai's shrieking tone and sheer volume startled the other three, who stared at her questioningly. "That's…a funny name for a restaurant," she covered. Badly. Lane eyed her suspiciously, as did Christopher. Zack, however, seemed blissfully unaware, and proceeded to drone on about strange names of restaurants he had encountered on tour, or restaurants owned by musicians with strange names, or some other similarly inane monologue. Lorelai was actually grateful for someone else's incessant chatter for a change, as it allowed her mind to race and try to process.

**Sniffy's! Luke is at Sniffy's with someone else. Sniffy's and raspberry truffles. You never even got a Whitman's Sampler. And Luke had never taken anyone else to Sniffy's. Maisy said so. Repeatedly. You knew each other for eight years before he introduced you to Sniffy's. To Maisy, his second mother, and Buddy, his mentor. Who the hell is Luke at Sniffy's with? What does Maisy think of her? Does Buddy give her double mashed potatoes? How can they just replace you like that? How can HE just replace you like that? Wow, you are such a hypocrite! No, that was different. Is different. Chris wasn't new in your life. And Chris wanted you. Has always wanted you. Luke did not. 'All in', like hell! So maybe it's someone from Luke's past too. Rachel? No, he wouldn't leave Stars Hollow every day to see Rachel. She would be here. Moving his milk. Dirty. Who is she, then? Stop! You're being ridiculous, what does it matter who Luke is with? At Sniffy's. Stop it! YOU are here, in Stars Hollow, with Christopher. Your husband. Lane must know who it is. She's giving you a strange look. What on earth is Zack saying?**

"…and then, there's Kaffibarrin. Damon Albarn from Blur owns that place, but it's in Finland or Sweden or somewhere like that, and now that I heard myself say it out loud, it sounds like it might just mean 'Coffee Barn', which isn't really that odd a name then after all, especially for you, huh, Lorelai?"

**Uh, what? **"Oh yeah, Zack. Totally."

**Lane knows! You have to talk to Lane. Now! Shut up, already, Zack.**

Lorelai wasn't the only one waiting for Zack to stop talking. When Lane turned her head to give a rather large yawn, Chris quickly leaned into his wife. "Okay, done with Jeff Spicoli," he whispered through gritted teeth. "Do something, please." Lorelai was happy to oblige.

"Chris!" she gasped. "Don't you have to get home for Gigi's call?"

"Oh, crap," Christopher said as he made a show of looking at his watch, "I totally forgot. Sorry guys, we really need to get back to the house, pronto. I hate to cut this short, but it's almost bedtime in Paris. Let's get together soon, though."

"We better get a move on, too, Lane," Zack said. "I don't want to be late for my first shift."

**Nooo! How are you going to get Lane alone?**

"Actually," Lane began, meeting Lorelai's eyes, "Um, Lorelai, maybe YOU could walk me home so Zack can get to work?" She looked at Christopher apologetically and waved at her belly. "I've got some, um, personal questions to ask, if you don't mind. Personal pregnancy questions."

**Yesss! Good girl, Lane!**

"Annnd, that's my cue," Christopher announced. "I'm outta here. You ladies discuss your unspeakably private feminine things and I'll see you at home in a bit." He pecked Lorelai's lips as she shot Lane a look of equal parts gratitude and trepidation.

And so the foursome parted ways, Christopher toward the former Crap Shack, Zack in the direction of the diner and the women back across the square to Casa Van Gerbig.

"So," Lane began.

"So."

"I don't really need to talk to you about the pregnancy," she spoke quickly. "I mean, that Girlfriend's Guide you gave me is pretty amazing, and I've got all these groups and forums online where I can talk to other moms, and not that I don't appreciate all your input and stories, because obviously Mama-"

"Lane," Lorelai said softy, cutting off the nervous rambling.

The women stood face-to-face. Lorelai watched Lane work up the nerve to speak, while she herself worked up the courage to listen.

"I really wanted to talk to you about...Luke," Lane said as Lorelai drew in a breath. "You know, about him leaving Stars Hollow in the evenings, and, um," she added knowingly, "Sniffy's."

**And the raspberry truffles. And the nice new shirt.**

Lorelai tried to look bewildered, but Lane was apparently not buying it. "Lorelai, I know you've heard stuff and I know everyone's talking, and gossiping, but I think you should know what's really going on."

'_I don't care!'_

"Oh, I don't care," Lorelai blustered. "It's not my business and I don't care, Lane."

"Oh, I know. I know you don't." Lane nodded solemnly, though her tone was patronizing. "It's just that...I think you should hear the truth. From me, if not from him."

Lorelai had a hard time meeting Lane's gaze. Instead, she cast a glance across the square toward the diner. She could just make out Zack's frame in the doorway as he closed the door behind him. She turned her head the other way to see if she could still see Chris, but he was already long gone. Finally, she turned back to face Lane with a firm nod, bracing herself for whatever she was about to tell her about Luke. **Not that it mattered anymore.**

'_I'm glad Luke has moved on,_' Lorelai told herself. _'Just like I have.'_

"So," Lane started again. "About Luke. And Sniffy's. And the woman he's been seeing…"

* * *

TBC…


	3. Three- My Marriage Is Fine

I** promised to resolve this asap, so here it is. Although, I gotta say, if I were you, I'd be checking out all the Gilmore girls reunion buzz instead of reading this right now. Go ahead, s'okay...****doesn't matter what time it is, this chapter will always be around. Like Luke.**

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I am very, very sorry. I didn't realize that I was posting such a cliffhanger. I don't like cliffhangers either. I wrote this part of the story so long ago, and of course, _**I **_know what happens, so I just ended the chapter at a point I thought was a natural break. When **CoffeeDrinker** read it over and pointed out the cliffhangery nature, I went back and added what I thought were some pretty good hints. I guess not; although, kudos to Nancy and **Junienmomo**, who picked up on them and nailed it! Again, my apologies. I got this posted as fast as a could.

* * *

Three-_'My marriage is fine'_

"So," Lane started again. "About Luke. And Sniffy's. And the woman he's been seeing..."

By the time Lorelai processed that Lane had used air quotes around the words 'woman' and 'seeing', the younger woman had already added, "It's not what you think."

"I don't think anything, Lane," Lorelai asserted, somewhat convincingly. "It's none of my business."

_'And I could not care less,_' she added to herself.

"He's working there."

Lorelai narrowed her eyes, fighting to hide her frustration and impatience. **Cut to the chase, Lane!** "Who's working where?" she asked as nonchalantly as she could.

"That restaurant, Sniffy's. Luke's been going there every day. He's running the place."

"What? Why?" Lorelai questioned in a shocked tone, temporarily abandoning her feigned disinterest.

"Well, as far as I'm aware," Lane faltered a little, "and you know Luke isn't exactly the most forthcoming…

**Ya think?**

"…but he knows the couple who own it. Old family friends or something." Lane's tone was questioning, and when Lorelai nodded at her in confirmation, she proceeded very cautiously. "Okay, so the wife…

**Maisy…**

"…is in the hospital. She's been pretty sick for a while now."

Lorelai's mouth fell open, but no words came out.** Maisy?**

Lane winced gently before answering the unasked question. "Cancer."

Lorelai's eyes widened and instantly teared up. **Maisy.** She blinked several times as if that would help her digest the information, but she was having trouble concentrating on the rest of what Lane was saying. She just could not shake the image of feisty, perky Maisy lying helpless in some hospital bed.

Lane must have noted Lorelai's stricken face. She immediately put as positive a spin on her news as she could. "Um, so I've overheard Luke mentioning treatment options, chemotherapy, radiation and long-term care, so that's got to be good, prognosis wise," she explained quickly. "I mean, when my great-aunt had cancer they just said, 'palliative care and pain management', and those aren't at all the same words I'm overhearing now. And Luke said he's going to be busy with both places for a while, quote 'until she's back home' unquote, and that's why he was so eager to get Zack on board." She looked up at the taller woman; Lorelai was still stricken dumb. "Lorelai? Are you okay?

**Maisy**.

"I'm really sorry if I upset you, but I just, I don't know, I just thought you should know the truth about Luke. I could tell the name Sniffy's meant something to you. But I thought maybe it was just like, 'your place' or something, you know? Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should have figured you'd know her.

**Maisy.**

"Of course you'd know her. Duh, Lane," she continued to berate herself. "I wasn't thinking. I was just thinking about the Luke end of things. Oh, Lorelai I'm so sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything," Lane sighed. "Luke asked me not to."

THAT jolted Lorelai out of her stupor. **Asked her not to?** The image in her head abruptly began to shift back and forth from a frail, ill Maisy to a cackling, whispering Luke. **Maisy has cancer.** **'Don't tell Lorelai, Lane. It's a secret.'** **Maisy has cancer.** Still, she remained speechless. It took a lot to leave Lorelai Gilmore numb and without a quick comeback. She herself tried but could not remember the last time someone else's words had knocked her flat like this. **Oh, wait. Yes, you can. **It was in fact just over a year ago.** Can you say, 'My father owns the place', followed by the ever-classic, 'Two months ago'?** Lorelai's initial shock and sadness over Maisy's cancer now mingled with anger and despair as she realized that she was allowing herself to feel completely cast aside by Luke all over again. When she did eventually make a sound, it was a frustrated release of breath combined with a soft self-deprecating grunt. She rolled her eyes and shook her head before finally mumbling, "asked you not to."

"Oh, not asked me not to tell YOU specifically," Lane clarified. "Not to tell anyone, generally. About himself, I mean. And how hard things have been for him. Lorelai, Luke doesn't have—he's not dating anyone. I mean, he has, you know, dated, at least once that I know of. But that was a while ago, you know, before.

**Before what? Before Maisy got sick? Before you started dating Chris? Before what?**

"Now he doesn't have the time, even if he wanted to, which I'm quite sure he doesn't, by the way," she added. An unmistakable flash of relief passed over Lorelai's features, and Lane continued. "Look, I hear what people are saying and guessing. I know you do too. But I thought you should know what's really been going on with Luke, personally."

"I don't…" Lorelai started, but looking at Lane's knowing face, only had the strength to finish in her head. _'…care what's really been going on with Luke, personally.'_

Lane pressed on. "He goes to the hospital every single day to see her, the wife-"

"Maisy." This time Lorelai managed to utter the name aloud.

"Right, that's right. Maisy. So from what I gather, he stays with the- Maisy for a few hours, gets all the medical updates and stuff, and then he heads over to their restaurant, I mean, to Sniffy's, and takes over the dinner rush there so that the husband…"

**Buddy. **Lorelai's thoughts flashed to poor, sweet Buddy. How was he coping with Maisy's illness? Bud and Maisy were true soul-mates, great partners in every sense of the word and clearly still in love after all these years. Watching them interact always warmed Lorelai's heart and gave her a wishful glimpse at her own future with-

'_I'll have that with Chris,'_ Lorelai told herself firmly. _'Christopher is my soul-mate,' _she declared before refocusing on what Lane was saying.

"…can spend his nights at the hospital by his wife's side." Lane took a deep breath. "Luke doesn't get home until after one, and then he's up before 5 to run the diner. Cesar and I try to help where we can, but it's getting harder for me, and, well, you know Luke, he says it's his responsibility and his problem to deal with and he won't take help from anyone else."

"Yep, that's Luke." Lorelai was trying to sound bitter, but she couldn't stop the compassion and concern from creeping into her voice as well. "Sounds about right."

No doubt sensing the capitulation in Lorelai's tone, Lane pushed on. "Yeah, well, it doesn't feel so right. Luke is in rough shape, Lorelai. He's running around ragged, sleeping three or four hours at most every night, and trying to cope with yet another terminally ill person in his life." When Lorelai shot her a worried glance, Lane explained, "Patty said both his parents died of cancer," and then quickly added, "She doesn't know any of this other stuff about Maisy or Sniffy's. No one does." Lorelai nodded, and Lane continued. "It's just that we were talking, Patty and I, because there was this one day a few weeks back where no one could find Luke; he didn't tell us where was going, he just sort of disappeared, and we really needed him because the oven… well, anyway, Patty just happened to be in the diner. She told me to leave Luke alone and not to look for him on that particular day. She was pretty adamant."

"Dark Day," Lorelai blurted before she could stop herself.

"Dark few months," Lane corrected, obviously misunderstanding. "I mean, you heard Kirk almost destroyed the diner, right? Luke had to rebuild it himself, then Maisy got sick, then he had April move in with him full-time, then _she_ got sick, then she moved out and now she's moving away and he's not even allow-" Lane stopped abruptly.

**He's not allowed what, Lane? **Lorelai wanted to know. But she could see that Lane was stopping herself from likely divulging even more confidential information about Luke's troubles, and she wanted to respect that restraint.** Better not to push her. **Lorelai absently toyed with her ring as she thought about Luke's other recent emotional hardships that Lane had mercifully chosen not to mention.

"Anyway, between April's appendix and Maisy's cancer, Luke has spent more time in hospitals recently than any healthy person should," Lane continued. "Unless they're a medical professional. Or Patrick Dempsey," she threw in, no doubt to ensure a hold on Lorelai's attention. "Although that's probably a set, not a real hospital," she rambled. "Anyway, I just have a feeling that he's not really comfortable with hospitals. Not McDreamy, Luke, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," Lorelai said, sighing.

"Somebody should know." Lane said soberly. "I'm not sure what to do about it, where to turn. His sister just had a baby, so she was of no help. She offered up TJ, but I really don't think that's the kind of help Luke needs, right?"

Lorelai tried to give Lane a knowing smirk of acknowledgment, but it came out as a sad, soft smile instead.

"And he does, Lorelai, Luke needs help. I was even going to go to a town meeting, see if maybe some locals could pitch in, band together. But Luke overheard heard me ask Taylor about getting on the agenda and blew his gasket. That's when he made me promise not to tell anyone." She paused and stared hard at Lorelai. "But you're not just anyone."

'_Yes, I-'_

As if Lane could read Lorelai's mind, she restated firmly, "You are NOT just anyone, Lorelai."

Lorelai's head was spinning from all the new information. Thoughts of Luke, Maisy, Buddy, April -**what did she say about April moving?- **and Luke again bounced around in her mind. She realized that she needed time alone to process everything Lane had just revealed to her and took advantage of the latest yawn her exhausted informant could not suppress. In her best old-school Lorelai Gilmore impression, she teased,

"Hey, looks like someone could use a very long nap there, Rip Van Gerbig. Time for you to head inside." They had somehow arrived at Lane's apartment on the other side of the square. "Not that I don't want to hear more juicy behind-the-scenes Grey's Anatomy dish. I knew I missed an important E! special while I was in Paris. Thanks for filling me in, though." She paused and added almost inaudibly, "About everything."

Lane eyed her speculatively. "Are you going to be okay?"

Lorelai nodded. "Me? Oh, yeah. Why wouldn't I be? You're the cold, tired, preggo. I should be asking you that. You gonna be okay?"

"Sure, you bet." Lane smiled wanly as she left, leaving Lorelai alone in the square.

Too cold and restless to sit, and not ready to head home, Lorelai meandered along the winding pathway, deep in thought. She wrapped her coat tighter around her torso, subconsciously mimicking her attempt to wrap her head around everything she'd just learned. She stopped briefly by the gazebo and surveyed her town, soothed the familiarity of it all. At first glance, Stars Hollow looked exactly the same as it always had, a comforting notion. But not even Lorelai Gilmore could overlook or deny how much had changed lately beneath the facades of the local storefronts, businesses and homes. Lorelai sat down on the gazebo steps, marveling at how things could be so completely different in reality than they appeared on the surface.

**Like your marriage? **Lorelai gave her head a firm shake.** Whoa! Where did THAT come from?**

'_My marriage is fine. Me and Chris- it's real, it's right, and it's good.' _**That's better, **she nodded emphatically.

Lorelai shivered -_because of the wind- _and rose quickly. Having convinced herself of the security of her marriage, she could now turn her full attention over to Maisy's situation. **And Luke's.** She just needed somewhere warm and comfortable to sit and think it all through before she could even consider heading home.

* * *

TBC...


	4. Four- No One Comes to Mind

Things in **bold** are Lorelai's** thoughts.** _'Italicized quotes'_ are the things (i.e. _lies_) she tells herself. "Regular quotes" are the things she actually says out loud.

She's a hot mess, isn't she?

* * *

Four- '_No one comes to mind'_

Lorelai stood on the steps of the gazebo and perused the town in her search for a place to ponder in peace. She looked toward the swinging Luke's sign and briefly thought about going into the diner for the coffee she missed so much. After all, she now knew that HE wasn't in there, and neither were Lane nor Cesar for that matter. Thinking better of it, she next looked right next door, where a sandwich board proclaiming the Ice Cream Shoppe to be 'Now Serving Delicious Authentic (Virgin) Hot Toddies Made with the Finest Imported Cocoa and Served with Exclusive Stars Hollow Commemorative Spoon* *spoon sold separately' was enticing as well in all its glorious Taylor Doose verbosity. **Poor Taylor**, Lorelai smirked, wondering how he could possibly have let the opening of rival Chocolate Charm pass by his watchful eye. She made a mental note to definitely, maybe start thinking about heading back to town meetings. Or at least check in with Babette more often, get the scoop.** Mmm, scoop! **There was so much going on in and around Stars Hollow that she seemed to be missing these days. Ultimately ruling out all places Danes and Doose, Lorelai finally settled on the neutral Weston's as the site of her solo summit. She carefully ordered only one cup of seasonal candy cane coffee and hunkered down at a corner table for some serious deliberation.

At first, Lorelai wouldn't allow herself to think about Luke's or even Maisy's woes directly. Instead, she kept going back to how hurt she was that Luke didn't tell her about Maisy's cancer himself. The two women had gotten quite close in the time she and Luke were together. In addition to her and Luke's many visits to Sniffy's, they had also been to each other's homes on several occasions, and Maisy had even brought over a welcome basket for Paul Anka in loving memory of Sniffy. While it was inevitable that Luke would keep custody of his oldest, dearest family friends in the split, Lorelai still felt strangely excluded. Which she knew was silly, irrational, selfish, but still…

**Why would he tell you? Would you have told him? You didn't even tell him you got married!**

Lorelai tried to turn the tables. If someone from HER life took ill, would she share the news with Luke? **Maybe not**, she conceded, but she was still having a hard time imagining a family crisis without him, even now. He would just be there. Period. **That's Luke**. She smiled sadly, remembering Luke's actions when her father was rushed to the hospital all those years ago. They were just casual friends back then, really. Fellow townies. But there he was, Luke, her rock. Could she get through a similar crisis without him today?

**Of course you could. You would have to. Besides, now you have Christopher. Your husband. **

'_If Dad got sick again, Chris would be there for me now. He's good that way too,'_ Lorelai willed herself to believe.

**So, is this just how it's going to be?** Lorelai wondered as she sipped from her second candy cane coffee. Were she and Luke just completely shut out of each other's lives? An overwhelming sadness passed over her. In one form or another, Luke Danes had been a constant in her world for over a decade. The idea of not…**Wait! **Hadn't he called her when April got sick?** Different, **she decided. That was an emergency. He had no one else to turn to.

**Luke had no one else to turn to.** Lorelai tried to wrap her head around that notion. For better or worse, in a pinch, Lorelai knew she had her parents. As much as she avoided them in times of need- often for good reason- at least she knew they existed as an option. And of course, there was Rory, last year's Yachtgate debacle and its ugly fallout notwithstanding. The Gilmore girls had learned their hard lesson, and Lorelai knew now with certainty that she had Rory, always and forever. Sookie too. Also Jackson, Babette, Morey, Patty, Kirk…the whole town, really. **Oh, and Christopher, naturally**.

'_First and foremost, I have Christopher,'_ she reminded herself.

**Who does Luke have?**

Lorelai couldn't help but consider the injustice of it all: Luke, who had lost almost everyone in his life, was running himself ragged, doing for others, getting nothing in return. She remembered how he had filled in for Sookie at the inn that one time, and how utterly exhausted he had been at the end of it. **And now, he's been doing that every single night for…how long?** He was working almost full-time helping out Maisy and Buddy, while still keeping the diner open the so the townies didn't starve. He had just hired Zack to replace Lane, probably so that they would have health insurance when the babies came- something that the young couple may not have even thought of. Lorelai was sure Luke was also still bankrolling and otherwise supporting his flaky sister, along with TJ and now, God help the poor little thing, her kid. **Kidszz- plural, **she corrected, remembering all the sacrifices he made for Jess too. Lorelai felt foolish for assuming that Luke was in a new relationship, when of course, he was simply being Luke, trying to take care of everything and everybody around him.

Lorelai's mind then drifted to the many times Luke took care of HER, long before they were even a them. Whether she needed a place to sleep, a shoulder to cry on, or just an ear to listen, he was there. On a tangible level, there were the hundreds of free home repairs and substantially discounted meals, not to mention the coffee, coffee, and more coffee; there were chuppahs built, shoes fixed, and baskets purchased; there were earrings, Santa burgers and other mercifully forgotten themed Christmas and birthday gifts for both her and Rory. And last but most definitely not least, there was the money that made it possible for her to achieve her dream.

Lorelai felt a sharp pang of guilt- more than the usual twinge she experienced whenever she remembered that Luke's Dragonfly investment had not been completely repaid. This particular guilt stemmed from her realization that the seemingly infinite LukeList from their eight years of friendship felt like nothing compared to everything he provided to her once they became a bona fide couple. She swirled her festive coffee around in its cup while visions of amaretto cheesecakes danced in her head, followed, in no logical order, by: ice rinks, necklaces, rainboots, doggie jerseys, new beds and TVs, impractical home renovations, unwavering support during the Rory estrangement…

**And how did you repay him? Nice, Lorelai.**

She tried to stave off the guilt by reminding herself of some of the OTHER things Luke had so generously bestowed upon her while they were together: moodiness, secrecy, silence…but that only made her more confused and contemplative.

**What the hell happened to him? What the hell happened to US? It just doesn't make sense.**

There was so much that didn't seem to make sense these days, if Lorelai really thought about it. So of course, she desperately tried not to think about it**. **She quickly shook her head to clear it.

**Stop thinking about you and Luke! **

'_That part of my life is over.'_

**You're married to Chris**_. _

_'Forever.'_

By the time she had finished coffee number three, Lorelai had done a good job convincing herself that her feelings of obligation toward Luke had nothing to do with anything that transpired during the course of their relationship. However, she couldn't deny that she owed him. Putting everything else aside, she and Luke had a history that, although she tried to reciprocate, often felt unbalanced in the favor department. And they may not be together anymore- **or even friends,** she noted sadly- but they both still lived in the same small town, a town that thrived on its residents and business owners banding together to help each other out when need be. Yes, simply as one Stars Hollow citizen to another, Lorelai felt that it was her responsibility to help Luke out.

'_It's my civic duty. That is why I want to help,' _she asserted with a nod.

Once Lorelai justified to herself WHY she should be involved, she could then concentrate on HOW. She thought long and hard about what she could do for Luke and for Maisy. Coffee number four had her carefully weighing her options:

She could send Jorge over to the diner once Luke was gone for the day. He was always asking for overtime shifts, and they could just add his hours to his Dragonfly docket. He was their best kitchen staffer, and Luke, as an investor, was entitled to share in that skilled labor, was he not? **That plan probably would not go over well with Sookie, or our accountant,** Lorelai reasoned.** Or the IRS, or the Labor Board. Probably violates both our insurance policies, too…**

She thought of approaching Taylor. Not as town selectman, but as owner of the adjacent business, and as Luke's tenant. Maybe she could broker some kind of cost-sharing arrangement between them that would be mutually beneficial. **Yeah, because that's what would help Luke's stress level- MORE business dealings with Taylor. **

She could "accidently" divulge everything Lane told her to Babette and Miss Patty, or better yet East Side Tilly, and just let the townies figure it all out without her. **And have Luke's 'Special of the Day' be Lane's Head on a Platter?!**

She could ask Kir- **Never mind.**

Lorelai struggled to come up with a plan that would allow her involvement to remain on the down-low. She knew Luke would be reluctant to accept any offer of assistance in the first place, and having her name attached to it would be a total deal-breaker. And then of, course, there was the Christopher factor.

Lorelai decided it would be best if her new husband didn't know about her involvement in any plan to help Luke. Chris could be a little sensitive in that area. Moreover, Christopher didn't quite seem to be one with the ways of Stars Hollow just yet, so seeing the town abuzz with Luke-related activity would not go over well with him either. Lorelai frowned at the unnecessary obstacles her spouse seemed to be posing. _'Chris has no reason to be concerned. This isn't personal, it's just business,'_ she told herself as she finished her drink.

Lorelai felt agitated and helpless. An arrangement that could work without the knowledge of Luke, Christopher or the town eluded her. Finally, candy cane coffee number five followed by bathroom break number three seemed to do the trick. A quick cell phone call to confirm some business and visiting hours, and she was on her way, mental gears grinding the whole way. By the time she arrived back home, she had a tentative plan in place_. _

As she trudged up the steps to her house, Lorelai suddenly felt a shudder and wrapped her arms around herself to thwart the chill.

_'I need a warmer coat,' _she noted.

* * *

Once inside, Lorelai was still distracted, barely registering that Christopher was chivalrously helping her out of her outwear.

"Hey, you get lost?" Chris asked, giving her a quick peck on the cheek. "Snarled in the big city gridlock around the gazebo?" he joked. "You missed Gigi's call. She says to tell you, 'bon soir'," he said with a proud smile. "'Bon soir.' Believe that? I swear she's going to come home smoking and asking for red wine with lunch." When Lorelai failed to supply one of her usual witty retorts, Christopher jumped in for her. "But I figure, that'll win Miss Patty over, maybe snag her a lead role in her next recital." Still, there was no response from his wife. "Lor?"

"Hmm?"

"I bet if we let Patty pinch my butt a few more times we could even talk her into doing Gigi. Gigi starring Gigi! How cute would that be?"

Lorelai bent down to greet Paul Anka and muttered a half-hearted, "cute."

Christopher looked at her carefully. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I just…yeah," Lorelai sighed, hoping Chris would let it go. He did.

"Oh, so can you be home tomorrow between 1-4?" He asked her. "I just ordered us a new stove," he added casually. "That's the delivery window, 1-4, and I have that thing in New York with my investment banker."

"You did what?" Lorelai grabbed onto the banister. For some reason, she suddenly felt a little queasy. "Why?"

"Oven didn't work." Christopher shrugged. "I was making us a quiche earlier, to practice for when Gigi gets home. She's probably going to need to readjust to our ugly American crap slowly," he explained. "She's been eating quiche for breakfast over there, so your famous Pop Tart McBacon wrap, classic as it is-"

"You were making a QUICHE?" Lorelai cut him off. "YOU were making a quiche? How…how do you make quiche?" she asked, incredulous.

"Well," he answered with exaggerated patience, "you call Sookie, you ask her to make us some authentic French food, you pick it up, you listen to her repeated warnings about raw egg and pork products and making sure it cooks through, and you put in the oven for about three times longer than she says. And when nothing happens except that you now have slightly warmish raw egg and ham and don't freak out but I think some kind of green vegetable, you-"

"So you just bought a whole new oven?" Lorelai practically shrieked. "Did you even try to fix the old one?"

Christopher glared at her. "Fix the oven? Who do I look like? Schneider?"

"Not since you shaved the 'stache and retired the denim vest, no," she blinked as she tried to joke her way out of her snippiness. "Also, you'd need to have way more keys."

"I'm not your super, Lor." Christopher replied. "I live here! And I'm not getting down on the ground to try to fix an ancient crappy oven when I can just buy a brand new one and have some guy install it."

Lorelai tried to envision Christopher on the floor tinkering with the oven, and concluded that THAT picture definitely did not seem right at all.

"Yeah," she agreed sullenly, tamping down another wave of nausea.

"Come on," he cajoled. "It'll be shiny and new and much prettier than your old one. You'll see."

Lorelai took a deep breath, smiled and nodded.

"So can you do it?" he asked again.

"Yeah, I'll get used to it," she conceded. "She'll need a name, though."

Christopher laughed. "No, I mean, can you wait for the delivery?"

Lorelai bristled. "Not tomorrow. I have plans."

"You said earlier that your day was open tomorrow. What kind of plans?"

"I...work stuff," she stammered. "A colleague of mine is sick and I need to do some stuff to help her out. I just found out," she said, waving her cell phone at him by way of explanation.

"Oh, that sucks. Which colleague?" he asked.

"You don't know her," she answered curtly.

"One of your staff? Fellow inn owner?"

Lorelai found herself getting very testy once again. She resented Christopher interfering in things that didn't concern him. _'None of this should concern Chris at all,' _she restated to herself.

"What does it matter?" she snarled. "I said I'm tied up tomorrow."

"It's just a few hours, Lor." Christopher said dismissively. "I'm sure you can get away for a bit without the inn falling apart."

Lorelai snapped. The five sugary coffees combined with all the disconcerting information she was still processing about Luke and Maisy plus Christopher's Christopherness did her in. "You're giving ME work advice? YOU?" she raged. "I built that inn, I own it, I run it! I didn't inherit it, and it doesn't manage itself like some trust fund that gets discussed twice a year over martinis in the city! If I say I'm busy with the inn or with people related to the inn, then I am! Did you even think to give them my cell number so I could be here within ten minutes instead of sitting around here waiting? Or maybe you think I should just sit here in my robe and curlers like I'm goddamned Donna Reed or Ethyl Mertz, watching my stories and eating bonbons while everything changes around me!"

Christopher just stared, wide-eyed as Lorelai paused to get a handle on her rage. But she wasn't sure herself where the anger was coming from, and she continued to yell uncontrollably. "You can't just replace everything in my house and make me sit by and watch!" she exploded at a dumbfounded Christopher.

"What the hell, Lor? I told you I needed to be in New York tomorrow," he reminded her. "I have important meetings that concern our family's future. I asked you if you wanted to come with to the city and you said that 'sounded like a definite maybe', that you were 'delightfully light' tomorrow, remember? That was not even three hours ago!" Christopher eyed her carefully. "What is going on with you? You were perfectly fine when I left you in town- and you came home a different person."

"And you're the same person!" Lorelai shouted before she could stop herself. "Same old Chris! You're happy to let other people provide for your kid, you can't or won't try to fix the oven…or anything else around here for that matter. Did you even notice that the porch rail is loose? No, of course not. That's Christopher Hayden!"

Christopher narrowed his eyes and stared at his wife for a long moment. "Well, Lorelai," he said calmly and slowly, "Christopher Hayden...is who you married."

Lorelai looked intently back at Christopher, then closed her eyes. **Calm down. What IS going on with you? ** She tried desperately to curb her strange reactions, or at least understand them, but it was as if her mind was sending her mixed messages. Lorelai was used to all kinds of thoughts jumbling around inside of her head at once, but seldom were there the signals and messages in direct conflict with each other. **Okay, breathe.** She took deep, calming breaths, fighting hard to ignore the confusion and apprehension she felt in the back of her mind.

It was a war to keep the nagging thoughts at bay, and right now, Lorelai absolutely needed to win the battle. She had had enough introspection for one day, and so her psyche, as a matter of self-preservation, managed to close the lid on that can of worms. For now.

**He's right. Christopher Hayden is who you married. This is your life now. Don't fuck it up.**

Lorelai took one more deep breath before opening her eyes. "You're right. I'm sorry, Chris," she said easily. "I love you." Apologies and platitudes were never difficult with Christopher. "Sorry, hon. Really. I think I just had…a brain freeze. Literally. It's fricking cold out there!"

"S'okay. Forget it," Christopher said, but the look on his face told Lorelai that he would not forget it soon.

**Say what you have to. Just don't fuck it up again.**

"No, it's not okay," Lorelai stated. "Let me try this again," she began with a sigh. "I love that you bought me a whole new stove instead of fixing the old one. I love that you've arranged to feed me and Gigi French food. I love that you are going to heat it for us in our pretty, shiny new oven. I love…"

"Thanks, Harry," Christopher jumped in.

"…that you can keep up with the references, Sally." Lorelai wrapped her arms around her husband's neck. "And I love YOU, Christopher."

'_I'm so in love with Christopher,' _she told herself as she kissed him_. _

"But," she broke the kiss and patted his chest, "I really can't be here tomorrow. I need to deal with this other stuff."

"Okay," Christopher nodded. "Don't worry, I'll figure something out."

"Kay," Lorelai said agreeably. But she wasn't really listening. She was back to absently petting Paul Anka, her mind focused on tomorrow- on Maisy, on Buddy, and especially…on Luke.

**No! Get your mind off Luke! **

"I guess I'll call the store back and cancel. Maybe I was too hasty," Christopher deliberated. "I don't know, maybe it can be repaired after all."

Lorelai whipped her head up. "You really think so?" she asked hopefully.

"Maybe," he shrugged. "If you get the right guy in to fix it." He looked straight into her eyes. "Anyone you can think of?"

In response, Lorelai simply shook her head.

'_No one comes to mind.'_

* * *

TBC...

A/N Sorry, I know it's been a while. But I'm back now and this should be finished up fairly soon. Just one or maybe two more chapters; and, just to let you know, from here on out, it's Chrisless. Yay! Speical thanks yet again to DFC for the beta-ing, for the tough-love non-beta-ing where applicable, and for all aspects of her being.


	5. Five- It's Just One Little White Lie

Five- '_It's just one little white lie'_

Lorelai sat in her Jeep down the street from the hospital, waiting for the coast to clear. As soon as she saw the familiar green truck pull away, she entered the lot and parked. After a quick stop at patient information, she strode nervously down the dreary corridor, unsure of how she would be received on the other side of the door to room c372. She soon discovered that she needn't have worried; Maisy instantly made her feel as welcome as she did the first time they met.

"Lorelai!" Maisy exclaimed before she was even all the way inside. "Well my gosh, it's been a while. It's awfully nice of you to come."

"Well, I heard you were…unwell," Lorelai shrugged in explanation. "But you look great, Maisy."

Lorelai was relieved to see that Maisy honestly looked no worse for wear. Her face was slightly swollen, and her eyes were not as clear as she'd known them, but her color was good, and she still had her hair. And her spunk.

"Unwell," Maisy snorted. "That's awfully polite of you. 'Stage 3 cancer. Inoperable,'" she mimicked in a deep, heartless monotone, "is how that horse's patoot of a doctor put it. Where is Marcus Welby when you need him, huh? Or Dr. Kildare! Gosh, now he was a looker, wasn't he?"

"Don't think he was a-looking our way, if you know what I mean," Lorelai winked broadly, not even caring if she looked awkward. She hadn't felt this at ease for a while, she realized, despite the circumstances. Maisy always had that effect on her. She stepped closer to the bed, and greeted the older woman with a big hug and a kiss to the cheek.

"Take off your coat and stay awhile," Maisy ordered.

"Oh, I plan to do just that," Lorelai responded. She started to undo her coat buttons, but between her overloaded purse, the chocolates she carried separately, and the fact that she had yet to remove her gloves, she wasn't having much luck.

Maisy rolled her eyes at Lorelai's awkward struggle. "I didn't invite you to stay for high tea, dear. You can take the gloves off."

Lorelai froze. She suddenly felt very awkward and embarrassed about what lay beneath her left glove.** Does she know? Luke might have told her. But what if he didn't? **She thought back to the horrified and shocked look Luke gave her last month when HE first spotted her ring. She never, ever wanted to see that look again, especially not coming from poor Maisy. **No way would he have told her**, she reasoned. **It's Luke**. The gloves stayed on.

"Here," Lorelai thrust a pink box toward Maisy, hoping to distract her. "For you."

"Oh, chocolates, thank you. Now how'd you know that's the only thing I've been able to keep down after chemo? Please tell me they're not raspberry," she lamented. "Lucas insists on bringing me raspberry every single time. Something about the anti-oxidants in the berries combining with the dark cocoa." Maisy rolled her eyes again. "You know Lucas."

Lorelai shrugged apologetically, letting Maisy know that she was indeed getting raspberry once again.

"Well, anyway," Maisy smiled, "It's nice to see you, Lorelai."

"I wasn't sure if you'd want to see me," Lorelai said sheepishly.

"Nonsense," Maisy scoffed. "We miss you. We all do, not just me and Buddy. Whenever folks come in and say they were sent on a recommendation from the Dragonfly, the whole place starts buzzing about you. Thanks for all the referrals, by the way. Business has never been better."

"Oh, well, you know," Lorelai explained quickly, "sometimes our guests want a different dining atmosphere from what we offer at the inn. And they like to check out neighboring towns, part of the Connecticut experience. So, I figured, why not Sniffy's?"

Lorelai could hear the defensiveness in her own voice. _'That's part of running an inn,'_ she justified internally. _'Sending guests to nearby establishments, and then making a point of chatting with them about their experiences there when they get back. All innkeepers do that.'_

"So, you're just doing your job, then?" Maisy smirked. "Well, we appreciate the business."

**Busted, **Lorelai thought to herself.** It's hard to bullshit around Maisy.** "It makes me feel…still connected, I guess," she confessed. "I really miss Sniffy's."

"You and me both. I've been stuck here for six weeks."

"Six weeks," Lorelai repeated, realizing that that probably correlated with the last time a guest commented on the adorable older couple who ran the place.

"The chemo really sucks the life out of you, but they do it in rounds, then you get a break. And the pain meds are quite lovely," Maisy whispered comically. "Leave me a little confused and long-winded sometimes, or so Buddy likes to claim, but I really don't have much discomfort at all, so it's worth it, I think. But if I start talking nonsense a mile a minute…"

"I'll feel right at home," Lorelai finished with a warm smile.

"The doctor says another few more rounds until I'll be able to get back to Sniffy's though."

"Oh?" Lorelai was surprised and relieved to hear Maisy speaking of returning to work.

"It is terminal, but it's not imminent," Maisy explained in her typical blunt manner. "That's the great thing about being old. Everything slows down. Even the cancer cells that will eventually get you take their sweet time. If the chemo does what they hope, which they won't know for a bit, I could have a few good years in me still. If not, a few months." She shrugged. "It is what it is."

"Oh, Maisy." Lorelai was on the verge of tears.

"Don't you 'oh, Maisy' me, missy," she chastised. "I hope you didn't come here for a pity party. No time for that, so suck it up. I've had a wonderful, full life, and whatever time I have left, I intend to make the most of it. No regrets."

Lorelai sniffled to gather herself as ordered. "No regrets," she parroted dutifully.

Maisy narrowed her eyes and asked playfully, "So, you miss Sniffy's do ya?"

"And I miss you too. And Buddy. I'm sorry I didn't," Lorelai faltered a bit. "I don't know…what…Luke told you…"

"Look, Lucas isn't much of a talker," Maisy began to reassure her.

**No kidding.**

"Took 40 years for him to bring anyone into the place to meet us, and it'll probably be another 40 before he does it again. If ever," Maisy continued. "But from what Buddy and I could see, you started coming in less and less last year. Didn't think too much about that, because so did he," she recollected. "Then he started coming alone again, then with April once or twice. Wanted us to get to know her."

"Of course he did," Lorelai replied, much more sharply than she meant to.

Maisy must have picked up on Lorelai's bitterness. For an older person allegedly confused by medication, she sure seemed astute at times.

"Jeez Louise!" she cried. "Was it April? Was that the problem? I warned him, the damn fool! Just like William."

**Warned him? **"No, April wasn't the problem," Lorelai answered. "April's great." That wasn't a lie. April was NOT the problem and April IS great. **The little you know of her, anyway.**

"Yeah, sweet girl, huh?" Maisy agreed, seemingly placated. "And she looks exactly like her Grandma did at that age. Uncanny!"

"Really?"

"Spitting image of Kathryn at twelve. That's how old we were when we met, Luke's mother and I. Twelve. Fast friends. Kathryn and Maisy, two peas in a pod right 'til the end," she reminisced. "So when I first laid eyes on April- holy moly! I don't think anyone's ever been quite so shocked by the mere sight of a 12-year-old girl.

**Wanna bet?**

"Except for Lucas, of course," Maisy added pointedly, catching Lorelai off-guard.

"Sure, yeah," she blinked. "Of course."

"You know he was also twelve when Kathryn passed on. I can't even imagine what was going through his mind. Lost his mom at twelve, and then, out of the blue, her doppelganger shows up 30 years later."

**Huh.**

Through all the scenarios Lorelai had come up with to explain Luke's abrupt change of character and behavior after learning about April, never had she considered him being thrown off by the girl's resemblance to his late mother. And while she knew that his mom had died when he was twelve, she had also, up to that point, never once considered that age coincidence to be a factor in Luke's bizarre reaction either.

But now Lorelai's mind was racing. She couldn't stop thinking about Luke, April and the connection to his mother. She thought back to discussions she and Luke had had about his parents, and she mentally reviewed the few old family pictures he had shown her. Now that she thought about it, she recalled noticing that Luke got his coloring and features from his father. The only trait he shared with his mother seemed to be the frizzy curls that sprung up whenever his hair needed a trim**. Did Luke see his mother in April's dark waves? Did he see his mother in April's face? Did he even realize it if he did, or was it a subconscious thing? **

"The mother," Lorelai unwittingly mumbled aloud as she continued to process the new information and all its implications.

"Never met the mother." Maisy must have assumed Lorelai was asking about April's mother. "You know you're the only one of Lucas's gals we ever met," she reminded her with a smile. Then her tone changed abruptly. "And I don't particularly care to meet her now, this Anna person, thank you very much! What a horrible thing to do, denying Lucas his child!" Lorelai's eyes widened at Maisy's sudden vitriol. "Taking away those years, making him feel like he wasn't worthy of being a family man. Lucas, not worthy?! Do you know what that did to him inside? Do you how that tore him apart? I've never seen him so out of sorts since William died!"

"Maisy," Lorelai said imploringly, not even knowing what her next words were going to be.

Maisy looked up at Lorelai. "Oh. Sorry, dear," she said abashedly. "Of course you know. It made him question everything about who he was and who he could be."

**Oh God.** Lorelai hung her head, replaying Luke's actions and inactions of the last year from a whole new perspective.

"I didn't mean to get so riled up," Maisy continued. "I just can't stand to see him hurt."

Lorelai nervously clenched her left hand, thankful that Maisy seemed unaware of the hurt SHE had caused Luke, and glad not to be facing the same wrath as Anna.

"He's a special one, that Lucas," Maisy said as she watched Lorelai carefully. "Whatever happened between you two, you better not have come here to tell me otherwise. I may be old and sick, but I'll kick your butt if I need to," she smiled. When Lorelai didn't respond in kind, Maisy added, "Hey, I'm just messing with you, Lorelai. I know Lucas isn't perfect and it takes two to tango. I just…I look out for him, you know? Someone has to."

"Yeah," Lorelai nodded absently, still deep in thought. "What do you mean you 'warned him', Maisy?" she asked suddenly.

"Oh," Maisy waved her arms dismissively, "that being April's father didn't mean he had to stop being everything else."

**What!? **Lorelai gaped at Maisy as the older woman continued on, seemingly oblivious to the shock her words were causing.

"He learned it from his own father, that all-or-nothing approach. That's how old Bill Danes thought you had to be a parent. All or nothing."

"All or nothing," Lorelai repeated numbly.

"See, William thought, after Kathryn died, that his whole job had to be parenting those kids. He figured, they lost their full-time mother, they needed to have a full-time father. Never dated again. Never did much of anything again. Not a multitasker, that one," Maisy chuckled. "Hell of a guy though. You'd have liked him. Everything was about those kids. He worked his job, he parented his kids. That's it. Had a hard time even doing both those things. If he could have closed the shop and just been a dad, he would have. Instead, he tried to get the kids wrapped up in the store. It worked for Lucas. He idolized his father, you know."

Lorelai managed a nod.

"But Elizabeth, well, she was something else, let me tell you. She was always a handful, from day one. Spirited, we'd call her," Maisy reminisced. "Kathryn called her 'my wild child'. But after she lost her mother, well, there was no reaching Lizzie at all, no way to make her feel…grounded. We all tried. Lucas, their friends, everyone back in that crazy town of yours, but no one harder than William. It didn't work, of course," she sighed. "The more he tried to reach out to her, the more Liz pulled away. Eventually, she had that kid and took off. She'd pop back in every few months, between jobs, between fellas, Bill would give her money, buy things for the baby, but then she'd split again. Sometimes she'd even leave the boy with him for days, weeks at a time without a word. And he'd just go along, to the exclusion of everything else, afraid to speak up, afraid he'd lose her completely. And heaven forbid you tried to offer any kind of advice about HIS daughter. Stubborn fool," Maisy shook her head. "Maybe Bill would have figured it out, in time, but then he got sick, and poof, he was gone as well. So fast. Such a shame," she said. "But that's what Lucas saw from fatherhood. And I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. You know Elizabeth tried to dump the kid off with Lucas a few years back too?"

"Jess," Lorelai nodded again.

"Oh, of course you know all about Jess. I warned you I get confused, I'm sorry." Maisy shook her head again. "Jess. More of Lucas trying to take care of everything, everybody, trying to fix it all, no matter what the sacrifice. Just like William." Maisy paused and closed her eyes. When she opened them, she stared directly into Lorelai's.

"He was just trying to be a father, Lorelai. The only way he knew how."

Now it was Lorelai who was confused.

**Wait. Is she still talking about William? Or Luke? **

'_It makes no difference now,' _Lorelai told herself as she shook her own head to clear it. _'It doesn't matter anymore.'_

"But hey, what do I know?" Maisy continued to chatter. "Maybe the Danes men have it down after all. Things are good now with Jess, I hear. He's settled, happy. And Elizabeth seems to have turned out okay too. This Gary fellow seems to be sticking, they own a house, and she's earning decent money. Legally," Maisy added, reaching her arm out to show Lorelai her handcrafted beaded bracelet. "She came by with that baby of hers the other day. Nice to see. Cute little girl. Ridiculous name, mind you. Doula. But some say that about Maisy, I suppose."

"Aw, Maisy's a pretty name," Lorelai offered.

"Ha! You're a bad liar, Lorelai Gilmore."

Lorelai recoiled. **What's that supposed to mean? **

"Now, Lorelai, that's a pretty name," Maisy continued on.

"It was my grandmother's name," Lorelai said, letting the liar comment go, chalking it up to the meds. "And my daughter's too."

Maisy smiled in recollection. "And how is Rory? Everything still back on track there?"

It took Lorelai a second to process what Maisy was referring to.

"Oh! Oh, sure, for over a year now. Not only is Rory is still back at school, she's all caught up to graduate on time, and she's even editor of the Yale Daily News."

"And you and she are…"

"Better than ever." Lorelai spoke with confidence, but finished her thought silently for Maisy's sake. '_Everything is great between Rory and me. She's thrilled her parents are together and she couldn't be happier for me and Christopher_.'

"I knew it would work itself out," Maisy pronounced. "These things always do. You and your daughter- well, to hear the way Lucas talked about your special bond, it was inconceivable that any kind of rift would last." Maisy adjusted herself in the bed, then reestablished eye contact with Lorelai. "Sometimes, a person just has to work things out of their system, do something rash and crazy. But life is long, and you and Rory are a team. People who are meant to be a team forever will be, despite any short-term glitches. I knew it would work itself out," Maisy repeated, holding her gaze steady.

Lorelai shifted nervously, suddenly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation and with Maisy's penetrating stare.

**Is she still talking about Rory? Or...**

"I saw him yesterday," she blurted. "He looks tired."

Maisy cocked her head. "You saw who, dear?"

**Shit. Good going, Lorelai. Guess she was talking about Rory. **"Um...Luke," she winced.

"Oh, Lucas. Well, of course he's tired, the damn fool! Runs his diner all day then runs our place all evening," Maisy griped. "Insists on it, that way Buddy spends the nights with me. If he's not at the diner or at Sniffy's, he's either here with me or with April, when he's allowed."

Lorelai didn't know exactly what Maisy meant by 'when he's allowed' but decided not to pursue that subject at the moment. She had more pressing matters to attend to.

**Okay, here goes nothing.**

"Maisy, have you heard of Brookdale Food Service Systems?" Lorelai started fishing around in her bag for the business card she had shoved in there earlier, but it was especially hard to find with her gloves on. And there was no way, no how she was taking those things off now. Eventually, though, she gave in to the frustration, yanked her right glove off with her teeth and dug her hand in.

"They step in for small kitchen businesses in cases like this," she flashed Maisy the card, "and do the ordering, staffing, keep payroll, et cetera. They're sort of a boutique operation, but they also do short-term—"

"Oh, Brookdale, sure," Maisy cut her off. "We looked into it, but Buddy says we can't afford it and Lucas had a fit when he heard we were even considering it."

"Why?"

"Why? Because," Maisy scoffed before launching into what was clearly supposed to be an impression of Luke, "the idea of paying strangers who don't give a damn about anything but the bottom line in a business that is completely based on pride of ownership and customer service is exactly what's wrong with our society and the reason for the near extinction of small…blah blah, blah," Maisy finished with an eye roll. "That, my dear, is what is known as a classic Lucas Danes tirade."

**Rant, **Lorelai silently corrected.** It's called a rant.**

"Well, that's Luke. He tries to fix everything himself and sometimes he," Lorelai paused, "he needs to let people in," she finished softly.

"Agreed," Maisy nodded.

"Look, it's not going to be me right now, that's for sure. At least, not directly. But I want to help. Help you and Buddy," Lorelai felt the need to clarify. "We use Brookdale a lot at the inn. We have an account with them, because our head chef is always either on maternity leave or bed rest or has some kind of self-inflicted injury."

"Ah, Sookie," Maisy laughed. "What a character."

"Right." Lorelai forgot just how much Maisy knew about her life. "So I've already spoken to them, and they're going to set everything up at Sniffy's, under our Dragonfly account. We actually still owe Luke a lot of money, and our accountants are going to restructure it as a part of his loan repayment." Lorelai proceeded to explain in detail the intricacies of the plan she had finalized just that morning. She wrapped up with, "Luke won't have to come in every day, just maybe once a week or so to check in with the Brookdale team. So you won't have to worry about him being overworked, or the diner suffering."

"Wow, Lorelai. You've really thought this through." The impressed look on Maisy's face quickly morphed into a perplexed frown. "Lucas is on board with this?"

Lorelai released a breath. "Okay, this is part of the plan where I'm going to need your help, Maisy. For this to work, I need you and Buddy to leave me out of it completely. For now, you have to tell Luke you decided this on your own, and the Brookdale payment is coming from your rainy day savings account."

"But we don't have-"

"Yes you do," Lorelai grinned proudly. "You just never told Luke about it. I even have an account number you can give him, if he really pushes you on the subject."

"You want me to lie to Lucas?" Maisy's eyes widened.

"Well, lie is a strong word," Lorelai said lightheartedly.

"Lie IS a strong word. Because lies are strong things, Lorelai."

**Um, o-kay? **"Once everything gets going, it'll be okay to tell Luke everything," she explained, once again trying to overlook Maisy's odd comment. "But for now…"

"You know," Maisy appeared to be mulling. "This would actually be a great temporary solution. Until I get back, and even after these latest chemo rounds. Maybe it will let Buddy and Luke figure out what's best, long term. We could sell or just close the place, you know, when…the time comes. But to shut down now, when it would put so many people out of work, it doesn't seem right, all because of me. This would really buy us time and give us some breathing room."

**O-kay! **"Great, so…"

"Still don't like the idea of lying to Lucas, though."

**Gah!**

"Although…"

Lorelai waited anxiously while Maisy processed it out.

"…it really is for his own good. He's the one under all the stress, and he'll never do anything about it on his own. It's nice that you want to help Lucas out this way."

"_I don't!" _

"It helps everyone, Maisy." Lorelai said sharply. "You, Buddy, all your staff, you just said so," she added, a touch of irritation creeping into her voice.

"_Luke is not my main concern here."_

Maisy stared long and hard at Lorelai.

"What the heck. I'm gonna take you up on your generous offer to help us all. Even if it means having to lie to Lucas." Maisy declared. "Sometimes you have to tell a little white lie to spare a person's feelings, or to get yourself or a loved one out of a jam. Nothing wrong with a well-placed fib, if it's for the greater good." She paused and appeared to be searching for her train of thought."Yes, ma'am, it's alright to lie here and there, as long as you recognize that it's a lie and you're not just fooling yourself.

**What on earth is she blubbering about now? **

"That's the key," Maisy continued. "Telling a lie is different than lying to yourself. As long as you step back sometimes and realize that that's what you're doing. We are all liars in one way or another. But at some point, we've got to own up to it…"

Lorelai found herself getting more and more aggravated as Maisy grew increasingly long-winded and cryptic. She eyed the door, contemplating her escape. **Patience, grasshopper. You love Maisy**, she reminded herself. **Hang in there, smile and nod**. _'Maisy is just confused and obviously talking nonsense._'

"…look into ourselves, see what the truth is in our heart," Maisy kept going once Lorelai finally looked back at her. "See what we're lying about. You tell yourself one little lie, and then you end up telling another and another, and pretty soon you forget that it wasn't you you were supposed to be lying to. It's the lying to yourself that's the problem."

**Okay, that's it!**

"I've kept you too long," Lorelai said abruptly. She pushed the top of her glove out of the way so that she could make a show of looking at her watch. "You probably want to get some rest before Buddy gets here, right?"

Maisy looked at her apologetically. "Oh sorry, dear. I'm yammering away again, aren't I? Drives Buddy crazy too."

"No! No, Maisy. That's not it at all." Again, that was not a lie, exactly. Lorelai wasn't sure what was bothering her, but it wasn't really Maisy's rambling. She was feeling a mounting sense of annoyance and confusion within herself, like she had the day before with Lane and with Christopher, and she wanted to get out of there in case she exploded at Maisy the way she had at Chris.

She caught a lucky break in that regard as Maisy's door swung open suddenly.

"Rounds and shift change in a few, Mrs. Linds," a nurse poked his head in. "I'm afraid your friend will need to step outside."

The women spent a few moments saying their goodbyes, and Lorelai headed to the door. She had her hand on the handle when Maisy called out to her in a dulcet tone she had never heard before from the feisty lady.

"Lorelai?"

Lorelai turned back to look at Maisy.

"Do you really think you're done, you and Lucas?"

**WHAT?!**

"Because I've seen a lot of couples come in through the years, and I've learned to read them pretty well. I've got to tell you, the way you two were with each other, you were the real deal." Maisy's voice grew stronger. "I just don't believe it's over forever. That kind of love never is."

Lorelai stared at Maisy, stunned.

"And I'm not just saying this because it's Lucas. I may be a sentimental old broad, but I can spot forever love from infatuation, lust or convenience a mile away."

**Can YOU, Lorelai? Shut up! Shut up shut up shut UP!**

"Do you think maybe there's a chance for you and Luke," Maisy asked hopefully, "in the future?"

Lorelai gripped the handle tighter and felt the pressure from her ring digging into her. **Of course there's no chance, you made damn sure of that! **She found herself getting even more frustrated and angry as Maisy looked up at her expectantly, and she felt a sudden urge to scream at the old woman in all her delusional naiveté.

**TELL HER! Tell her of course there's no chance! Show her the ring on your finger. Tell her you're married to someone else. Someone who actually wanted to share his life with you, because her precious Lucas certainly didn't! Tell her how her 'all or nothing' Lucas made April his all and you his nothing! Tell her!**

'_There's no chance.'_

'_It's too late.'_

'_Luke and I are done, forever.' _

'_I have moved on.'_

Lorelai opened her mouth to speak those thoughts aloud, but the words would not come out. She wanted so badly to explain herself, to make Maisy see what really happened, how they had gotten here, and why there couldn't possibly be any way back for her and Luke. She looked up at the ceiling in search of the courage to tell her, but when she looked back at Maisy, all she saw was a frail, elderly woman in a hospital bed, staring at her with hope in her eyes.

Lorelai breathed out a gusty sigh. **No, **she shook her head imperceptibly.** Don't tell her**. **What's the point in disappointing a sick old lady? **Hadn't Maisy herself just said there was a time and a place for lying? This would definitely qualify as one of those times. **Right?** **Right, **she confirmed with a nod.

After a few moments, Maisy repeated her question. "Lorelai? Do you think there's still a chance for you and Lucas? To end up together, forever?

"Sure, Maisy," Lorelai said softly. "There is a chance for me and Luke." She smiled tenderly. "That would be…good. I'd like that."

And Lorelai felt better having said those words out loud, even though, she told her herself, she really didn't mean them. Maisy was right, she decided. **Sometimes, you have to tell a little white lie. Sometimes, it's just easier that way.**

'_It's just one little white lie,' _Lorelai silently declared as she left Maisy's room_. 'One little white lie never hurt anyone.'_

**Right?**

**Right?**

Suddenly, she wasn't so sure.

**Lorelai? Hello?**

Lorelai slowly wove her way back through the hospital corridors and out to the parking lot, mentally reviewing everything Maisy had said about life, about Luke and about lying. Sure, most of it by the end was nonsensical rambling, but some of Maisy's words had struck a chord with her. Maybe there WAS a difference between telling a lie to others and lying to yourself.

**Maybe it's time you figure that difference out!**

Lorelai sat in her car for a very long time. She reflected on the events of the last day, of the last year, paying particularly close attention to all the things she had been thinking and saying regarding Luke, to Christopher, and about herself.

At last, Lorelai Gilmore was beginning to question her own intrinsic honesty.

**Shit.**

And she did not like what she was beginning to see.

Lorelai caught her reflection in the rear-view mirror, and glared with disdain at the person she had allowed herself to become. She looked out her windshield toward the sun setting in the winter sky and thought about Christopher, waiting for her at home. Then she closed her eyes and immediately pictured Luke, all alone at Sniffy's.

When she opened her eyes, Lorelai could finally admit that things desperately needed to change. For all of them.

She knew it wouldn't be easy for her, that it would take some time to get back to the confident, self-aware Lorelai she once was. But she also knew that it had to be done.

She pulled out of the lot and headed back to Stars Hollow, finally prepared to face the truth.

The end.

* * *

A/N Thank you all so much for reading, and extra special thanks to DFC and Eledgy for helping me work through some tricky aspects of this chapter.

I hope you're not disappointed with the slightly ambiguous ending. Remember, my writing is always canon-friendly. I just wanted to explore some possible off-screen scenarios that could have helped get Luke and Lorelai back on track to live their happily ever-after post-series lives. I at least wanted to get Lorelai to a place where she realizes how screwed up she is, so she can start to fix herself.

But wait…there's more!

I do have an epilogue! It takes place sometime in the post-Bon Voyage future and it ties up some loose strings and shows how things were resolved. I'm not sure if I should post it as the 'real' finale, or leave things open-ended as is, especially in light of the new canon we're going to be getting. Please let me know your thoughts.


	6. Epilogue- The Truth Comes Out

**Author's Note/Warning/Spoiler Alert:**

**Here's the promised epilogue, for those who wanted to see it. Bear in mind, it's just a tiny snippet from the not-too-distant future, not a detailing of Lorelai's healing process. Hopefully, though, you'll still get a good sense of resolution. But that's not the warning, this** **is: M****inor character death- sort of. This epilogue takes place immediately following Maisy's funeral. While I am not normally big on "character death" stories, I felt that with the wonderful Kathryn Joosten having passed away from cancer a couple of years ago, her counterpart Maisy could use a farewell as well. ****To those of you reading on, thank you and I hope you enjoy the conclusion. **

* * *

Epilogue- The Truth Comes Out

After the service was over, Lorelai cautiously approached Luke, who was still standing with the reverend up by the pulpit. For one of the few times in her life, she was at a loss for words. She simply looked at him sadly and shrugged.

In response, Luke held his hands open helplessly and said, "It is what it is."

"It was a beautiful service," Lorelai said to the reverend. She turned to Luke and added, "You did good. Your eulogy was perfect."

The reverend excused himself to go sit with Buddy in the limousine to the cemetery. "We'll be waiting for you in the limo," he called out as he exited the back doors, leaving Luke and Lorelai alone in the empty church.

"Be right there," Luke half-waved as he turned back to face Lorelai. They sighed deeply at the exact same time and then exchanged shy, tender smiles.

Lorelai lay her left hand comfortingly on Luke's right arm. He glanced down at it, then quickly darted his eyes back up to meet hers.

"Lorelai?" he asked anxiously, "Where, uh, where is your wedding ring?"

"Oh," she said, initially jarred by his presence of mind to notice at a time like this. But then again, not surprised at all. Luke.

She carefully pulled at a chain around her neck, revealing the missing chiseled band. "Fingers are swollen, I had to take it off," she explained.

"Sorry," he mumbled gruffly.

She couldn't help but smile at the guilty tone in his voice. "Hey, it is what it is," she echoed his words back to him as she rested a hand on her rounded belly.

Luke gently placed his hand on top of hers, an identical band of gold covering where hers was now missing.

"I really wanted her to know Maisy," he said as he began to rub in soft, slow circles.

"She will, doll. She'll know them all," Lorelai reassured him. "Even Louis, and Trix. We'll make sure she knows them all."

Luke kissed his wife in gratitude and love.

"This kid will have the best bedtime stories ever!" she enthused. "If not the raunchiest."

"They were a colorful bunch," he agreed.

"I really loved the eulogy," Lorelai told Luke as they started to walk. "I never knew that. That you confided in Maisy that way. I mean, I knew you two were close, but I didn't know she managed to get you, Private McSecrecy of the MYOB patrol,-"

"Retired."

"- to spill all your secrets. I'm so glad you had that. That's an amazing gift to have had."

"Yeah."

"I'm glad you didn't tell her everything, though," Lorelai whispered conspiratorially, even though they were alone. "You know, like about some of my, um, poorer choices, shall we say? Thanks for not telling her about…"

She didn't need to finish her thought.

"She knew."

"What!?"

"She knew," Luke shrugged. "She knew everything. Well, except about April, at first. I was an equal opportunity jackass there. And I didn't exactly tell her that I kept April from you, not until way after the fact." He grimaced at the memory. "Boy, she gave me hell about that. But other than that, she knew it all."

"Everything?" Lorelai was mortified. She hated the thought of Maisy thinking badly of her. "All along?" she frowned, trying to think it all through. "Or just after you and I finally got back together, because-"

"All along. Everything." Luke stated matter-of-factly. "It's hard to bullshit around Maisy."

Lorelai stopped cold. She stood still, mouth agape, as realization began to dawn.

She started replaying the many conversations she had with Maisy over in her mind. She found herself focusing specifically on the one that very first day she visited the hospital. The one where Maisy got her _to "lie"_ about maybe seeing a future with Luke. The one where Maisy "inadvertently" convinced her to stop lying to herself. The one where Maisy let her sit there for an hour with sweaty hands, hiding a ring of shame and betrayal she knew damn well was there anyway! The one where Maisy came off as a rambling, slightly confused old lady whom Lorelai felt compelled to patronize…

"That cunning fox!" she marveled.

"Oh, yeah. Always," Luke chuckled softly before sobering. He looked into his wife's eyes and spoke solemnly. "She loved you, Lorelai. And she understood you." He paused to brush back a loose tendril of her hair. "She understood," he stressed meaningfully. "Helped me understand too."

"Thank God," Lorelai murmured.

"Go ahead," he laughed again. "You're in the right place for it."

Lorelai looked up. "Thank you, God!" she cried out. "Thank you, Maisy!"

"Come on, crazy lady, they're waiting for us." He put his arm around her and led her slowly toward the back doors of the church. "So, listen, I kind of promised the wily vixen that if she didn't get to meet," he gestured to Lorelai's stomach, "her, we'd kind of, um, name her after her," he said with a wince.

Lorelai snorted. "Maisy? Maisy Danes? Hahaha no," she said firmly. "I loved her too, but, sorry, babe. No can do."

"But she…"

"Was probably...no," she amended, "was definitely messing with you, Lucas."

"It was a promise!" Luke protested.

"Little white lie," Lorelai corrected, shaking her head. "Doesn't count. Believe me," she smirked knowingly, "Maisy would understand." She gave Luke a tight squeeze of affection. "Besides, 'Maisy' is way too hip and trendy. I thought we had already decided on Bertha Griselda Shnicklelfritz Gilmore hyphen Danes."

"Rethinking the hyphen," Luke played along. "Might be too much. Seriously, though," he tried again, "maybe as a middle name?"

"Sure, hon, maybe," she placated. "We'll consider it."

In fact, Lorelai, Rory and April had already jointly agreed on the baby girl's name. They just hadn't gotten around to making Luke think he'd chosen it yet.

"Okay, good," he nodded. "Good," he repeated in a serious tone.

Lorelai grinned at his gullibility. They made their way out the back of the church and approached the waiting limousine. Luke held the door open and ushered her into the vehicle.

She turned back to look at him. "Hey, Luke, you know I was lying before, right?"

"Before when?"

"Before, before. With the names," she said as he sat down beside her.

"Yeah, I kinda knew that. But thanks for coming clean." It was his turn for a knowing smirk. "I'm glad you're finally acknowledging your lying problem. That's half the battle."

Lorelai beamed adoringly at her husband.

"Ain't that the truth."

* * *

**The (real) End**

**RIP Kathryn Joosten, aka Maisy/Mrs. Landingham/Mrs. Tanner/Karen McCluskey and so many more memorable characters.**

**And long live Luke and Lorelai!**


End file.
